Vie de merde ? Achetez une "clé en main" sur ebay

par Saqr18 Jeu 25 Jan - 15:50

Ce type -Nicael- vend "sa vie" sur ebay:
Annonce ebay
Il vit en Australie et la vente comprend:
- Name
- Phone number
- All my possessions which includes the following
- Clothes,
- Roughly 300 CDs
- Surfboard
- Laptop (minus certain information with my discretion),
- Pushbike (Has wonky handlebars, may need some work)
- Books,
- Bed
- CD player
- Backpack
- Tennis racquets
- Golf Clubs(which you will have no idea how to use)
- Childhood photos
- Skateboard
- Nice lamp which your ex-girlfriend bought you.

- I will teach you my skills which include the following
- Surfing (Expert)
- Climbing (Intermediate)
- Skateboarding (Novice)
- Handstand Skills (Expert)
- Fire Twirling Skills (Intermediate)
- Devil Stick Twirling (Expert)
(Plus many more)

- Will introduce to all my friends & potential lovers (around 8 which I have been flirting with)
- I have around 15 close friends and around 170 other friends
- I have 2 nemeses.
- Lifestyle is very social. It includes a lot of going out.

NB: Friends will treat you exactly as they have treated me. This includes friends who take me surfing, running, climbing and cook for me. All of these features will be transferred over to the winning applicant.

Life also includes the following features

- Will have access to a cruisy job in march delivering fruit.
- You will write a satirical horiscope in the University of Wollongong Magazine.
- You will have new parents to have Christmas with & birthday presents from friends.
- A birthday party will also be organised for you.

This auction also includes the following
- A 4 week training course by the former me which includes the following:
- Many anecdotes and stories from a very interesting and intriguing past 24 years of my life
- 6 Jokes
- Training in becoming me (fashion, food, lifestyle, style of seduction, interests)
- Haircut like mine
- Piercings to the value of $180.
- Lessons in my personal history (The good stuff and the bad stuff)
- Skills Lessons (as mentioned above)

NB: After the 4 week training winning bidder will also receive 2 months of on-call support.

Please note the following

- A friend owes me $20. Another friend owes me a six-pack of beer which you can redeem upon winning the bid.
- The winning applicant should probably shout the next $20 worth of weed.
- Will need to become vegetarian. This can however be changed in the future.
- There is some tension with a former ex from a painful breakup which must be inherited.

I will endeavor to take on a new identity freeing up my prior identity to the winning applicant. Any contact with my former life will be under a different persona.
Only people who will make a full attempt to embrace my life need apply.
Serious bidders only please.
Male or Females welcome (My name is gender neutral)
Good Luck

PS.
Please note winning bidder does not receive ownership of the following:
- Degrees/qualifications
- Drivers License
- Passport
- Future Inheritance
- Formal/Legal Identity

(This is more of a social life and mentality as opposed to a new legal identity)